


Rights to Life

by RayneSummer



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Gen, attempt at a multi chapter fic with only a summary not a plan, but its being written apparently, finally put arthur and merlin friendship in something lol, had little idea what i was doing but actually finished a thing! wow!, uther isn't an important character he's just being a king as usual, where is this going who knows
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-25
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:13:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 17,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24918133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RayneSummer/pseuds/RayneSummer
Summary: When a mysterious guest arrives in Camelot, Merlin doesn't see a connection with the strange boy and feeling weaker than usual, until it becomes dangerous and others realise there is definitely something wrong.
Relationships: Gaius & Merlin (Merlin), Gwen & Merlin (Merlin), Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 133





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> the actual notes I have for this fic:  
> Concept: merlin getting life-drained – becoming weaker, sick, collapsing, etc. they trace the source to this mysterious guest who is actually drawing off merlin’s life. Could be magic, or just so happened to be him bc he doesn’t like him idk (insp. By that torchwood episode )
> 
> I cant even remember anything abt that torchwood episode other than the plot so.

It started in the morning.

There’d been a new arrival the night before, but that was nothing different. From Sophia (who, alright, turned out to be a shidhe) to Vivian (who was probably still under that love potion, to be honest, wherever she was), and Elena (and well, she had a shidhe in her too, but it wasn’t her fault at least) – anyway, guests in the castle were nothing really new.

Even if this one had been more than a little creepy. The boy and his mother had been silence through the king’s speech and when Merlin showed them to their room for the next couple of nights, the boy stared at him for an uncomfortably long time before shutting the door.

It’d made the warlock shiver, but there was nothing particularly odd about him not being treated the best, either.

So nothing to worry about.

And definitely not connected to him having a headache this morning that pounded when he got dressed and stumbled down the stairs from his room.

“Ugh.” Preferring not to collapse this early into the day, Merlin fell into a chair when his knees threatened to give out for a moment. “I don’t feel so well,” he muttered, when he caught Gaius’ questioning look out of the corner of his eye, and rubbed a hand over his face.

The physician hummed in acknowledgement and gave the boy a visual once-over from where he was preparing a potion on the other side of a table. “You look a little pale. What’s the matter?”

Merlin grumbled to himself as he rubbed his eyes, hoping to ease the ache behind them. “Just a headache,” he mumbled into his hands, both feeling guilty for even mentioning it and also wanting to be thoroughly miserable about his luck today.

Really, he had a lot to do, what with these guests and Arthur’s demands and helping his mentor when he could. Could a pounding headache not wait until evening to strike? At least then he could sleep it off.

He was so busy feeling sorry for himself that he jumped when Gaius’ mild voice came from right beside him rather than halfway across the room.

“Well, unfortunately you’re almost late for Arthur, so since you got out of bed, you had better be going,” his guardian said, not unkindly. Before Merlin could good-naturedly protest about the prince though, Gaius held out a small bottle in front of his face. “Here. This should help with some of the pain,” he said with a smile.

Merlin returned the expression gratefully, and took the bottle, sipping it in distaste but without complaint, since it would probably help. When he offered the glass back, Gaius took it and then briefly accosted him with a hand on his forehead before nodding, more to himself, in a satisfied physician way, which Merlin took to mean he was fine and needed to carry on. Which he was planning to anyway, but it was nice to get some sympathy every now and again.

“Good enough. Off you go, then.” Merlin grimaced but got up, trying not to sway too obviously when his vision danced a tiny bit. He headed for the door, ignoring the breakfast on the table, but glancing back when Gaius added, “But let me know if you start to feel ill. It is almost winter, after all.”

The boy nodded at his guardian’s words and gave a reassuring smile to the stern look. 

“It’ll be fine,” he said, with more confidence than he had, considering half the things that happened at Camelot.

* * *

The day went as usual. Merlin went about his chores, helped Gwen when he could, and in his spare time picked some of the more important herbs for Gaius. He wasn’t requested to tend to the strange guests, which was somewhat of a relief, considering how, well, strange they were.

But as he finished hauling Arthur’s bath water to the prince’s chambers (with some cursing here and there because the headache had come back full swing by evening) and hoping the day was almost over, he ran into the strange boy just outside in the corridors. He opened his mouth to greet the child – because really, he couldn’t be more than ten – but was just glared at and suddenly there was a blackness.

It was only a second later when he opened his eyes, because he immediately spotted a flash of the cloak the boy was wearing disappear round a corner, and then, almost straight away afterwards, the concerned voice of Gwen from the other end of the hallway, and Merlin realised he was laying on the floor. Huh.

He quickly straightened up and got to his feet, turning to face Gwen with what he hoped was a reassuring, and not confused, expression to ease her worried one.

“Merlin! Are you alright?”

“Fine. Just…” he didn’t exactly have a good excuse for this, and to be honest, shouldn’t feel the need to find one, since it wasn’t exactly his fault. Plus his head hurt from hitting the floor now as well, which was impeding his thought process. “You know, just tired,” he finished, a little lamely if Gwen’s frown was anything to go by.

But the serving girl was a good sport, and she just wrinkled her nose in disbelief instead of calling him out on it. “Arthur working you hard?” She said in good nature, sounding just a little suspicious. Merlin shrugged but grinned to help his case.

“Same as usual; you know how it is.”

Gwen nodded, because she was also a servant, and she did know how it was – better than anyone else would, at any rate. But she wasn’t convinced.

“What were you doing on the floor?”

Merlin narrowed his eyes, trying to think of a good explanation through the pain. But apparently his struggle was clear because Gwen took pity on him and patted his arm sympathetically after a minute.

“Never mind. Are you done for the day?” She asked, to Merlin’s relief. He heaved a sigh that accidently turned into a yawn and Gwen smiled a little at the display of tiredness.

“Almost,” he managed around the yawn, and then, when he could speak clearly again, added, “Just got to go back when he’s out of the bath.”

But he yawned again, putting a hand in front of his mouth politely and feeling a little embarrassed. Sure, he was usually busy, but he was about as good as hiding exhaustion as he was at hiding magic, which was to say, fairly good, but especially around people like Arthur.

Gwen wasn’t really in that category, but it felt a little mollifying to show weakness in front of her, too. No matter than she looked after him throughout the grips of a deadly fever after being poisoned. As she – and Gaius – had quickly found out, when conscious and well (or at least, not actively dying) Merlin did not subject to ministrations so patiently.

But she still took his arm in a firm grip and turned him around to face away from the door to the Prince’s chambers. “I’ll see to that,” she said, already practically marching her friend away, to his bemusement, “You need to get some rest.”

Merlin considered arguing, but really, he should know better by now, and anyway, he was quite tired, not to mention his pounding head. But he didn’t mention that because that wasn’t how he worked, but he did let Gwen lead him away, so it all equalled out to be fair.

Actually, Gwen took him all the way back to Gaius’ chambers, though she let go of his arm after they passed a noble who frowned at them – she had been a servant far longer and knew better than to respond; it wasn’t embarrassment that ruled her actions.

She took him to the door and he opened it, turning to give her a smile. She patted his arm and smiled back, but still a little worried. “Get some rest,” she said quietly, and gave Gaius a little wave when she spotted him behind Merlin in the room, before addressing her friend again. “See you tomorrow.”

Merlin nodded and thanked her and when he turned around after shutting the door, watched Gaius put down a bowl of stew at each side of the table for their dinner, realising that he didn’t feel hungry at all.

“Gwen escorting you home now?” Gaius said mildly, as he gestured for Merlin to take his usual seat. He obediently slid onto the bench opposite his guardian, but grimaced at the smell of the food. It was making him a little sick, to be honest. “Merlin?”

“Hm?” He glanced up to see Gaius looking at him with a frown, and guessed he’d missed something. “What?”

The frown only deepened slightly in concern and Merlin looked hastily down at the food, trying to discretely avoid the steam going in his face since that was certainly not helping the nausea. “She thought I looked tired,” he offered, which was after all the truth.

Gaius just nodded, not looking entirely convinced, but enough to start on his own supper while Merlin picked up a spoon and toyed with the food, scooping some up then watching it drop back into the bowl, deep in thought. 


	2. Chapter 2

"Merlin! It's dawn! Time to get up."

The warlock groaned as he slipped out of the vaguely disturbing dream he'd been having. It was something about crossbow bolts and swords and knights and death, but the details escaped him now he was awake. With another, quieter groan, because complaining out loud wasn't exactly one of his pasttimes, Merlin reluctantly got out of bed and dragged his clothes on before finally answering Gaius' call by showing his face in the main chambers.

Gaius looked up from where he was ladling thin porridge into the wooden bowls, prepared to shout again before he saw his ward groggily descend the steps from his room. The boy was rubbing one hand across his face, which was a shade paler than usual. He stopped in the middle of the room and blinked owlishly around as though not quite awake.

Quickly, he made the connection between morning, home, and breakfast, and dropped the hand to his mouth as a yawn split his face.

"Bad night?" Gaius raised an eyebrow at the boy as he stumbled over to the table. Merlin shrugged, and grimaced at the food, really not feeling up to it. But to avoid suspicion - because there was nothing wrong, after all - he sighed and sat down on the bench, unenthusiastically picking up a spoon.

He prodded at the porridge, not actually consuming any of it, as Gaius fussed around with a potion on the burner for a minute before sitting opposite his ward and starting on his own breakfast, peering over at the boy.

"Do you still have that headache?" He asked at length, when Merlin seemed to wince for no particular reason. 

As an answer, Merlin dropped the spoon along with the pretense of eating and put an elbow on the table, the other arm folded to support him as he leaned forward, putting his head in his propped up hand. He did all of this in worrying silence, and Gaius watched him warily. "Merlin?" He asked quietly, getting rather concerned at the odd behaviour of the usually bright boy.

Merlin took a deep breath before straightening up again, trying for a weak grin. "Just tired," he replied, which wasn't quite reassuring. He wrinkled his nose at the uneaten porridge and moved to get up, writing it off as a lost cause and needing to start the day before he just started feeling sorry for himself. "Better go."

Gaius didn't look so convinced. He stood up when Merlin did and reached out a hand when the boy looked like he was about to fall over. "Are you sure? You look like you should go back to bed," he said in concern. Merlin shook his head and tried not to stumble.

"It's fine," he insisted, and gave his guardian and slightly stronger reassuring smile. "I'll wake up properly soon enough with all Arthur will have for me, I'm sure!" 

Not quite content, Gaius watched the boy leave their chambers, dragging his feet a bit. He didn't seem ill, but certainly more tired than the physician had ever seen him. But he did work hard, after all, and it was bound to catch up with him sooner or later.

"Well, try to take it easy today," Gaius called as Merlin opened the door. The boy flashed a smile back at him before exiting, leaving his guardian standing in the room with a fond expression.

* * *

Merlin's first stop was the kitchen, where he retrieved the prince's specific breakfast and hurried to deliver it on time. The tray felt heavier than usual in his hands, though the contents itself was practically the same as every day, so Merlin had to focus slightly more to keep it all contained as he reached Arthur's door and gave it a shove with his shoulder.

Managing to open the thing with his hands occupied - the tray wasn't steady enough to try balancing it in this situation - Merlin walked into the room as he did every day, and dropped the tray with a cheerful clang on the table, rousing the slumbering figure in the bed. 

"Morning!" Merlin said brightly, wandering over to the curtains and dragging them back before turning to Arthur's unimpressed expression with a signature grin. "Breakfast?" He asked innocently, pointing at the table.

Arthur didn't speak to him as the prince ate his breakfast and Merlin pottered around the room, tidying here and there, making the bed, and such.

It felt like a normal day; sure enough, being busy made Merlin feel more awake, even if it was rather cold in the royal chambers. But it was usually not so welcoming as his own room, where there was often a little fire burning over some experiment, and the relaxing smell of various herbs that made the place feel comfortable.

Even thinking about the home he'd found in Camelot made Merlin feel grateful and dazed as he wistfully thought he could have stayed if Gaius was convinced he was ill.

But he wasn't, and work needed to be done. Still, Merlin found himself daydreaming about going back to bed where he could feel warm and rested, two things that seemed much too far off right now to ever achieve again. He shivered, and absently realised that he was just standing holding the Prince's pillow and said prat was apparently yelling at him. Or, well, calling, but the loudness made Merlin wince. Maybe the headache was coming back, he thought vaguely as he tried to concentrate again.

"Merlin! Are you even listening?" Arthur huffed when his servant finally seemed to be mentally present again and looked over expectantly. "Stop standing around thinking and make yourself useful," he grumbled, immediately ignoring the tiny bit of worry that had started when the boy had stared off into space for several minutes without recognition. 

His servant, predictably, sighed and put down the pillow, but obediently moved closer to listen with a listless, "Yes, sire?"

Arthur frowned at him, pretending it was in annoyance and not concern. He seemed a little off. But the boy lived with the court physician after all; it wasn't like Arthur had to look out for his health.

"You can clean my armour this morning," the prince eventually said, and Merlin nodded politely while making a face that Arthur ignored because servants should not respond to orders with unimpressed facial expressions. "Then it's training, so you can accompany me there--"

"Training? In this weather?" 

And Merlin looked so appalled that Arthur forgot to remind him that servants definitely did not interrupt nobles. He did scowl though. "Yes, Merlin. Knights aren't scared of a little bit of rain."

The boy rose an eyebrow in a very Gaius way and looked pointedly at the window where there was, admittedly, a full storm brewing. Rain had been falling since well into the night, and the training field itself was sure to be drenched in mud and water. Arthur pursed his lips. Maybe training wasn't such a good idea. Not that he was going to admit that to his servant.

"Well, we'll see," he said briskly. Merlin rolled his eyes and stumbled a tiny bit for some reason. Arthur continued to ignore him and went on with a list of chores.

* * *

Predictably, Arthur listened to Merlin when the boy wasn't around, and he got word from another servant that training was cancelled and he was to wash the prince's clothes instead, and a very full laundry basket was put into his arms.

He sighed as he headed for the laundry room. His hands were already rubbed a little raw from polishing the prat's armour all morning, but hopefully the water would soothe rather than aggravate his sore fingers.

Arriving in the room, he scowled at seeing whoever was here beforehand had not cleaned up in the slightest - there was water practically all over the floor and various blocks of soap were spread out on the table in the middle of the room, not in their proper places next to each sink. With another sigh, Merlin resigned himself to cleaning up the room before he could even get any work done, and dropped the laundry basket next to the door before walking carefully into the room.

He muttered annoyedly to himself as he picked up one of the soaps and turned to put it in its proper place, but caught sight of a shadow in the hall just outside the room. "Hello?" He called cautiously, thinking it might be a shy servant. 

When there was no answer, his frown deepened and he took an uncertain step towards the door again, ready to call out in more suspicion. 

Then, there was a fluttering of a cloak and Merlin narrowed his eyes silently as he thought he recognised the colour. It certainly looked similar to the cloak he'd seen a certain mysterious boy wearing the day before. He hadn't heard anything of the two odd guests all day, and it seemed far fetched to imagine a random child was stalking him in the laundry room, but stranger things had happened.

So Merlin got ready to question the shadowed person, opening his mouth as he took another step forward, and thought he actually glimpsed... something, something strange, but he didn't have time to dwell on it because he legs suddenly gave out and he was barely aware to feel his head smack off the table as he dropped to the floor, soap still in hand.

* * *

In the shadows, a mysterious boy smiled darkly as he peeked into the room and saw the pale man on the floor. He watched the servant breathe shallowly, slight frown still on his face even in unconsciousness.

The boy drew back as he heard footsteps approaching, and hurriedly ran down the opposite end of the corridor, disappearing around the corner before Gwen could round hers. She frowned as she thought she saw something in the darkness, but shook her head to rid it of such notions. The castle was a safe place.

Undeterred, she continued onto the laundry room where Arthur had said his servant should be (with a roll of his eyes in case he wasn't) since training was not on.

She'd been meaning to ask Merlin if he was feeling any better today, but apparently that question answered itself when she paused at the door with a stifled gasp, taking in her friend laying on his back - which was probably soaked, given all the water on the floor - with a small gash on his forehead.

Even though it seemed perfectly clear what had happened this time, a bead of suspicion planted itself in Gwen's mind as she hurried to kneel beside her friend, ignoring the dampness in her knees.

* * *

Merlin came to feeling wet, uncomfortable, and pained. Which wasn't a nice combination, let alone all of them at once. He groaned and felt someone shift next to him as he tried to remember what had happened.

"Merlin?" Came a hopeful, if worried, voice.

"Ow," he replied, but blinked open his eyes anyway to see the ceiling and try to recollect why exactly he was lying on a soaking wet floor.

Beside him, he recognised Gwen's voice as she apparently talked to another servant who had clearly just walked in on the odd scene. Merlin would be embarrassed if he wasn't so busy being nauseous, and also maybe if he wasn't already known as an extraordinary clumsy person.

"Go and get Gaius, tell him Merlin slipped in the laundry room and hit his head," Gwen was saying, calm but commanding.

She was, technically, quite a high level servant, being that to the Lady of the castle, and so was Merlin, given his position - though he hadn't known that until Gwen had laughed and told him why the other servants seemed a little afraid of him. He'd been astonished, never having had a position of power, even slight like this.

"The court physician?" A timid girl's voice asked, and Gwen nodded impatiently.

"Yes; this is his ward, he'll want to know," She added pointedly, and the girl apparently got the message and scurried off.

Gwen turned back to Merlin, who was typically already trying to move. She put a comforting hand on his shoulder but didn't stop him from struggling to sit up, helping a little. He gave her a grateful nod and blinked at the table above them.

"Um," he said, eloquent as ever, and blinked at Gwen again, a little bewildered. She gave him a small reassuring smile. "Your knees are wet," he said.

Her smile widened in relief. "Your back is wet," she retorted, and Merlin huffed, moving as if to get up, but this time Gwen did stop him with a caring hand on his arm. "Stay there a minute," she said worriedly, and Merlin grimaced as he reached a hand to his head where it hurt. "You must have slipped on the water and hit your head on the table," Gwen explained, sounding mostly sure of herself.

Merlin studied the spots of blood on his fingers. "Yes. I must have," he muttered, but a frown creased his brow.

Gwen watched him thoughtfully. That was, of course, what had happened - it was obvious, and Merlin was after all quite clumsy. But it still felt a little... off. But since no one could come up with why, she took it out of her mind.

"Uh, maybe we should get off the wet floor," Merlin suggested, breaking her thoughts. Gwen eyed him cautiously, not sure if he should be getting up, but she had to agree that her knees were getting soaked kneeling on the cold hard ground, and she supposed sitting in the water wouldn't be doing Merlin any favours either.

So she nodded, slightly unconvinced, and straightened up a little before reaching down to take her friend's arm, ignoring his insistences that he was fine and could stand. "Here," she said kindly, pulling a stool towards them and gesturing for Merlin to sit on it. He made a face at having to be the patient rather than the carer for once, and Gwen smiled good-naturedly at his usual antics.

"Did you... see anything?" Merlin asked at length. He was looking a little troubled and Gwen tilted her head, eyeing the graze on his head. It didn't seem that bad, but delusions weren't that uncommon.

"No..." She sounded a little uncertain though, and Merlin frowned at her. But before he could say anything, she added sensibly, "But you hit your head quite a bit from the looks of it. Maybe you just thought there was something," she suggested.

Merlin nodded slowly, trying to think past pain and focus on what he knew. "Maybe," he muttered.

They were released from any more conversation by the hurrying of footsteps in the hallway outside and Gwen stepped back expectantly, giving Gaius a worried smile when the physician rounded the corner into the room with a concerned expression, the girl a few steps behind him, peering in.

"Merlin. Are you alright?" Gaius quickly stepped to his ward, voice full of worry, not bothering to wait for an answer - which probably couldn't be trusted anyway - before gently putting a hand under the boy's chin and tilting his head to see the wound, noting the flinch in response.

Gwen addressed the shy girl who lingered just outside, leaving Gaius to tend to Merlin. "Thank you... Sarah?" She guessed, and the girl nodded. Gwen smiled at her. "Are you busy?"

Sarah shook her head and shied back a little when Gwen took a step towards her. "Do you think you could wash the prince's clothes, since Merlin here won't be able to right now," she said quietly. Sarah looked a little daunted at the idea of tending to the prince of Camelot's shirts, but nodded again.

"Of course," she replied in a soft voice, and tentively picked up the abandoned laundry basket before hesitantly fully entering the room and heading to one of the wash basins furthest from the other occupants.

"Careful," Gwen called with a smile, "We don't want another accident." Satisfied the servant made it to the other side without fault, she turned her attention back to Gaius and Merlin, who were apparently talking in hushed voices. "He still has some sense left, doesn't he?" She tried for humour but her worried expression as she glanced at Merlin gave her away.

Merlin himself twitched a smile at that though. Gaius glanced at her, seeming slightly distracted, but he didn't look overly worried.

"I'm fine," Merlin reassured, and tried to stand, stumbling a bit. Gwen immediately stepped forward to steady him as Gaius took his other arm in concern.

"You will be, but first you're coming back home," Gaius scolded lightly, and gave Gwen a smile when she helped his urge Merlin to the doorway. "Thank you, Gwen," he said warmly, and she nodded in reply. "If you could inform the prince Merlin will return to work tomorrow."

Gwen nodded again and smiled. "Of course." But Merlin looked put out.

"Tomorrow? Gaius, I'm fine--"

The physician just gave him a stern look and Merlin fell silent but adopted a sulky expression that made Gwen chuckle. She gave his arm a pat, knowing she had to get back to her own chores as well. "It's alright. I'm sure his socks can wait until morning," she intoned, and gave both of them a nod before hurrying off as Gaius led Merlin the other way, back to their chambers.


	3. Chapter 3

“So you say this is second time this has happened?” Gaius tilted Merlin’s head to see the wound better as he focused on cleaning it.

Merlin, sitting on a bench in their chambers as Gaius stood over him examining where his head had met the laundry table, sighed glumly. He wasn’t overly fond of being perceived as a weak maiden who fainted everywhere, but in the end sense had won out and he’d only slightly reluctantly admitted to blacking out the day before aswell. 

“Yes,” he said heavily, wincing as the cloth brushed the wound again.

Gaius hummed in acknowledgement, putting the cloth down for a moment. “And you’re sure you didn’t slip?” He asked, not disbelievingly, but just covering all bases.

Merlin shook his head. “I do that enough to know what it feels like,” he intoned with reassuring humour. Gaius flashed him an unimpressed look before taking a step back.

“Did you hit your head?”

The warlock immediately lifted a hand to touch the wound. Gaius lightly smacked it back down. “Before today,” he said pointedly.

“Oh.” Merlin considered the question. Although it was an occupational hazard to get knocked upside the head, and admittedly it did happen more often than ideal, he truthfully couldn’t think of a recent time where he’d got smacked, and certainly not hard enough to elicit this sort of reaction. “No,” he answered honestly.

Gaius observed him critically. “Hm. Well, you’re staying here for the rest of the day.”

Merlin opened his mouth to argue, then closed it again. Truthfully, he did not want to end up passing out in front of Arthur, mostly because of the fuss that may cause, and also because, since he wasn’t injured or ill, it would just be plain embarrassing. Not that embarrassing himself in front of people wasn’t commonplace, but if he was being given an out to not do so, he supposed he ought to take it for once.

So he heaved a sigh and nodded. Gaius looked a little surprised at his ward’s obedience for once, and patted the boy’s shoulder reassuringly.

“Maybe you’re just tired. You haven’t a concussion, so come eat something and then I suggest you head up to bed,” he said kindly.

Merlin nodded again and gave his mentor a small smile before he turned to head to the brazier and serve up some dinner. 

“You don’t think it’s something suspicious then,” Merlin ventured as he got up and wandered over to their usual table to take a seat there, looking up vulnerably at his guardian.

Gaius glanced at him thoughtfully. “Well, it’s only happened twice. And that could just be a coincidence,” he replied, sensible as ever. “I shouldn’t worry too much at the moment,” he added reassuringly as he turned back to the cauldron and started serving up the stew.

The warlock put his chin in his hand and stared vaguely out the window until Gaius put a bowl of food in front of him and tapped the table to gain his attention. Merlin smiled his thanks and poked at the contents with a fork, eating little. 

It was a little strange, but Gwen could be right, despite what he’d been insisting. Maybe he did slip? And as for yesterday, he did remember being quite tired…

Merlin sighed again and speared an unidentifiable vegetable to stare at morosely. What was it that his mother used to say? Once was an accident, twice a coincidence, but three times was a pattern. Or something like that. And while that went for, say, someone trying the kill the king, it didn’t exactly apply to everything.

Mostly it only applied to the assassination thing because once was enough for any Camelot guard or royal, and said person would have their head off without a second try, and certainly not a third.

\--

The night passed fitfully. Merlin felt hot and cold, kicking blankets off and pulling them back onto the bed in equal measure. Sweat dampened his nightshirt and cooled to chill him. It was generally unpleasant, so when he finally drifted off properly in the early morning, it was a relief.

Until the dreams started.

In one, he travelled home, alone for some reason, only to see Ealdor burnt and only corpses where there used to be villagers. In another, he returned to Camelot only to find the castle on fire. From across the forest, Kilgharrah laughed. He hadn’t done it though; he was laughing at Uther’s Kingdom’s fate regardless. Merlin screamed at him wordlessly, tears running down his face. Behind him, a door slammed open.

“Merlin! What on earth is the matter?”

With a gasp, the boy bolted upright in bed, wide eyes taking in Gaius standing in his bedroom doorway, hastily dressed and looked both harassed and concerned. His face softened in worry as Merlin continued panting, and he approached the bed carefully to sit on its edge.

“Merlin?” He said again, care and fondness in his tone making the boy look up, still trying to blink dreams from his eyes.

“Sorry,” Merlin whispered, eyes darting about as he realised that he must have yelled out loud. Winter sun shone brightly behind the window’s shutter so hopefully he hadn’t woken his guardian with the racket. Saying he had a bad dream seemed childish, but it was the truth. “Bad dream,” he reluctantly muttered, trying to take a deep breath.

Gaius eyed him, brow creased in worry. “Sounded bad,” his mentor agreed quietly, considering him. “You look feverish.”

Merlin shrugged, or tried to, and shivered a little. “I’m fine. Just cold.”

He tried to get back to normal, and moved to get up but Gaius suddenly put a hand to his forehead, frown deepening at the heat there. Merlin tried to shake him off and rise from the bed, but Gaius put the hand on his shoulder instead, prompting him to still.

“Not so fast. You’re running a fever. How do you feel?” 

Gaius picked up a discarded blanket from the floor and gently draped it around Merlin’s shoulder as the boy thought miserably about an answer to the question. Frankly, whatever had plagued his dreams was retreating, and with it, several symptoms that he’d woken with. He sniffed. “Better by the minute,” he replied confidently, giving his mentor a reassuring smile he figured would be welcome considering he’d woken with a shout.

Nightmares weren’t that unusual for him. But even in sleep, his mind had the same idea of not involving or worrying anyone, and he was usually quiet. This was particularly useful while out with the knights, aswell.

Predictably, though, Gaius raised a disbelieving eyebrow and put a hand to his forehead again. This time Merlin let him, wanting to get on with the day and forget his dreams. Hopefully the retreating temperature would convince his mentor that he was fine and could continue.

After a moment, Gaius took his hand away and Merlin looked at him hopefully. “See?”

“Hm.” The physician eyed his ward sternly and Merlin forced himself to keep his head up. “Perhaps it was just the night terror,” he mused, but didn’t look convinced. Still, Merlin was alert and more awake by the second, which was better than yesterday, even if the waking itself wasn’t. “Alright,” he allowed, and Merlin perked up in relief. “Come to breakfast, but you’re eating it all before you leave. Don’t think I haven’t notice how much you’ve been leaving recently.”

Merlin nodded meekly, and held still while Gaius gave him another visual once over before getting up and heading to the door. He glanced back and Merlin gave him another reassuring smile, hoping to ease the worry still present on the physician’s expression.

Eventually, he left, pulling the door to after him but not completely closing it. Merlin left it like that, knowing Gaius wanted to listen out for him in case something happened, and got dressed as usual, readying himself for another day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments: this is cool!! I can't wait to read more!  
> me: same!! I have no idea what i'm doing!!! but thank you!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realise that I'm writing this and picturing this in s1 sometime, but then I remembered at the beginning I immediately mention three events that take place in series 2 and then 3, so um. I guess it's technically set s3. But for some reason I have s1 baby Merlin in my mind as I'm writing? he was such a smol and this seems like the kind of bad luck that boy would have. so the timeline doesn't make sense but look,, I don't even know where it's going so.

There was a sense of deja-vu from the previous day as Merlin picked up the prince’s breakfast from the kitchens and made his way to Arthur’s chambers, the tray heavy in his hands again.

But this time, the occupant was awake, sitting on his bed, and looking up to regard Merlin thoughtfully when the servant walked in.

“…Morning?” Merlin raised an eyebrow at the gaze and put the tray down on the table with a quiet clatter.

Arthur, never one to beat around the bush when it came to work, immediately said, “What happened yesterday?”

“Oh, I slipped in the laundry room and Gaius made me stay with him for the rest of the day.” Merlin gave an easy grin as he walked across the room to pull open the heavy curtain, allowing the same sun from Gaius’ chambers into Arthur’s.

He turned to see said man still frowning at him and raised an eyebrow in silent question.

“Because you hit your head,” Arthur said, seeming to have decided to finish the story himself. Merlin wondered briefly who had told him before Arthur gestured with a nod towards his forehead. “Got a nice bruise there,” he said, and there was a note of teasing now, since he was satisfied with the explanation.

So Merlin just nodded to confirm the tale and waited an inevitable insult about being a precious flower or something like that who slips in puddles.

Surprisingly, it never came. Arthur got up and pleasantly settled down to eat his breakfast as Merlin retreated to the wardrobe in order to find the prince some correct clothes for the day. He hummed a little to himself as he laid trousers and shirt out on a chair then moved to the bed and made it up, plumping the pillows and setting them back down before drawing the smoothed down cover half over them.

There was a sudden knock at the door and inexplicably Merlin felt a sudden rush of blackness. He reached out blindly and grabbed at a bedpost.

Thankfully, Arthur was occupied with the person at the door and didn’t see his manservant stumble.

“Sire, your father has asked for your council in the throne room.” That was Sir Leon’s voice.

The darkness receded enough for Merlin to see Arthur nod in understanding and wave a hand to dismiss the knight. Leon nodded in respect and withdrew, glancing at Merlin and giving a slight smile. 

Of all the knights, Leon was the nicest towards servants and the like, and having knowing Arthur for years, could see the influence the odd peasant boy was having on the prince. It was a good friendship, for both sides.

Merlin threw a weak smile back and quickly let go of the bedpost and folded his arms behind his back as Arthur turned back to face him.

“Merlin—”

“Sire.”

Arthur gave him a look. “Merlin,” he started again, “I don’t know how long I’ll be, so you can polish my armour—”

Never one for proper servant behaviour, Merlin interrupted the crown prince again in the middle of his sentence. “I did that yesterday and you have yet to wear it since,” he said reasonably.

Arthur scowled, but apparently couldn’t find a counter point to that. He narrowed his eyes at his servant before seeming to reach a conclusion. “Fine.” He stood, pushing out from the table with unnecessary force. “If I’m going to be bored with Father’s speeches, so can you be.”

The servant grimaced but didn’t speak up a third time. Which, judging by the challenging expression on Arthur’s face, was probably a wise choice.

\--

Prince and manservant walked down the hallways towards the castle’s throne room, the latter a respectful step behind his master.

(Though both Gwen and Arthur had to continually remind him of this particular custom at first and it took him a while to naturally fall behind someone of higher status than him, allowing them to lead. Everyone was equal in a village like Ealdor, and the position of royals wasn’t something he knew a lot about before now.)

They entered the throne room, which was lightly crowded with some of the more important knights standing in a line down one side and the king sitting expectantly on his throne, looking mildly put out.

Merlin wondered briefly if he was about to condemn another innocent person for alleged sorcery.

Arthur walked up to his Father, gave a nod, then stood off to the side. Merlin did similar, but gave the chair a wider berth, a deeper bow, and stood to attention a few steps behind them.

Despite his upbringing, he was a fast learner, and less than a year into his employment to the castle, he’d practically perfected all the servant traditions. What Arthur constantly complained about was irrelevant. Of course Merlin knew how to act around nobles now, but when it was just him and Arthur he dropped most pretence. He knew the prince needed a friend more than a silent servant.

Even if he was occasionally still the arrogant prat who had messed about in the lower town for the fun of it.

Merlin was distracted from his thoughts by Uther’s commanding tone, and resisted rolling his eyes – which was certainly not acceptable in the presence of the king.

“Come forward.”

At the word, the doors were opened by two guards and two people stepped in. Merlin’s breath caught as he immediately recognised the strange boy who had appeared a few days ago. Accompanying him was apparently his mother, judging from their similarities.

The woman approached the throne and bowed respectfully, keeping her gaze down after straightening up. “My lord,” she said in a surprisingly gravelly voice. “I humbly ask if we may at all extend our stay for day or so more.”

She kept her head bowed as the king considered the sentence. The boy looked like he wanted to meet Merlin’s eye – the servant was unconsciously staring at him – but kept his gaze on the ground as well.

“Is there a particular reason you need to stay in the castle?” Uther asked, which was fair enough. It was something Merlin was wondering too.

Given his status, he wasn’t that often required to attend to others in the castle, for long if at all. Arthur had had him show the two to guest chambers when they’d arrived because he was the only servant conveniently around that night.

He had warned the king might offer his manservant’s assistance with the guests, depending on their needs, but in actual fact Merlin had no involvement with them, and indeed hadn’t seen the woman, at least, since. The boy was wearing the same cape Merlin thought he had seen the past couple of days, solidifying the odd idea that, for some strange reason, this boy was… following him? Watching him? Something like that.

Or maybe he was just paranoid. It could be said facing threats often can make one worried about every slight event.

The woman gave a respectful nod of her head and gestured to her son with one hand. “My child,” she said solemnly, “is working on something that may benefit you, my lord. We would be most grateful if you allowed us to stay until it is perfected.”

Uther’s eyes flicked to the boy, but he stared stubbornly at the ground, acting as though he’d rather be anywhere else.

Slowly, he nodded. “Very well. You may stay.”

The lady let out a breath and bowed again, deeply. “Thank you, my lord. You will not be disappointed.”

As she turned to leave, Uther spoke up again.

“Wait.” She turned back to see the king frowning. “What is the nature of this… gift?” He asked, genuine curiosity in his voice. Which was slightly surprising, considering he was the king and getting present from random people was probably quite commonplace.

The woman gave a small mysterious smile. “You shall have to wait and see, sire. It will be worth it,” she reassured, and held out a hand towards her son.

Slowly, the boy took it and followed his mother dutifully. At the door, as the guards outside opened it again, he looked back once, and met Merlin’s eyes directly.

He managed not to yell out loud, but it was a close thing. 

The second the boy’s gaze had met his, something akin to a fire had leapt in the warlock’s head, flaring pain that was all-consuming for a terrifying moment.

Then it relented, though a pounding headache – similar to what had plagued him the first morning after the guests had arrived – bloomed. Slowly, Merlin came back to himself. He’d managed not to call out and also stay standing, which was frankly quite impressive.

Slowly, he blinked up from where he’d buried his head in his hands apparently, and at that moment, Arthur glanced around only to be met with a very pale face and pained eyes.

The prince did a double-take, and opened his mouth with a concerned expression before remembering where he was, and glancing at the king. Thankfully, Uther was busy talking with a couple of the closer knights, and Arthur looked back at his servant, who looked like he was going to collapse at any moment.

Quickly, but professionally, he took a step back from the throne, and leaned towards Merlin to mutter, “We might be here a while. You’re dismissed.” Trying not to let concern bleed into his tone.

Merlin squinted up at him unsteadily, slow to understand. But luckily he caught on when Arthur gave a significant nod to the closest side exit from the room, and gave a nod to show he understood.

Unfortunately this only succeeded in doubling the agony in his head, and he squeezed his eyes closed for a moment, opening them to start to stumble – as quietly as he could, because he was a servant in a room full of royals – towards the door.

If he’d looked back, he would probably have chalked the visible concern in Arthur’s eyes up to delusion.

It was only a headache, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I continue to have no idea where I'm going with this but! it's an adventure!?


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying to get a vague plot for this but like. idk. Hopefully this chapter moves it along a bit!

Merlin barely made it out into a corridor this time before blackness claimed him.

He knew it was for longer this time, because when he came round it was to Gaius starting to kneel next to him with Gwen standing behind, both of them looking very concerned.

Merlin blinked. “Third time lucky?” He said weakly.

Gaius gave him a look that said both that he should take this seriously but also that a lighthearted response offered some relief from the serious situation.

“Longer this time,” Gwen spoke up, and Merlin looked at her. “At least, from what I’ve seen,” she added hastily. Merlin gave her a reassuring smile.

Gaius, who was busying himself checking his ward over, grimaced when he found no sign of, well, anything. He sighed, but allowed Merlin to struggle to sit up when he finished examining and leaned back, moving forward again briefly to help.

“What is it?” Gwen asked in a hushed voice as Merlin leant against the wall, eyeing the physician nervously and talking as though the subject wasn’t right next to them and easily able to hear.

Gaius pursed his lips, clearly trying to think of something reassuring to say that wasn’t to do with the fact that he had very little idea of what was happening here. He continued watching Merlin, who was looking somewhat alert but clearly exhausted for some reason. Yes, the servant worked hard but it was barely midmorning; he can’t have done anything too strenuous so far this day, and certainly nothing that would have led to him collapsing in a corridor. Gwen, who had come across her unconscious friend for the third time in three days, had wasted no time in immediately running to Gaius, but by the time they arrived back, Merlin suddenly woke up.

None of that, or another examination, offered any solid reason for the situation.

He was about to speak up and admit he wasn’t sure – physician’s honesty and all that, and it was only them here – when instead, Merlin muttered something.

“What was that?” Gaius asked, a little worried that the ability to talk might be the next affliction affecting the warlock from whatever this condition was. Behind him, Gwen crouched a little to listen in, possibly wondering the same thing.

Merlin looked at the two, his eyes back to being focused. “The boy. I think… he has something to do with it.”

Gaius frowned and was about to ask what boy, when Gwen asked, “Why?” She looked confused, but clearly knew who Merlin was talking about at least. “He looks normal enough. And there’s nothing suspicious I’ve seen.”

“I don’t know…” Merlin trailed off, then abruptly looked straight at Gwen. “Wait. Do you have access to their chambers?” He asked, leaning forward a little.

Gwen nodded, still frowning. “Yes. Apparently the woman asked for a female servant and I was put forward. I’ve been cleaning up and making the beds every day.”

“And you haven’t seen anything strange? Nothing at all?”

She shook her head this time. “No, but they probably wouldn’t leave something incriminating out in the open,” Gwen pointed out reasonably.

Merlin blinked. “Of course,” he murmured, grazing Gaius’ narrowed eyes – the man was clearly thinking of all the times Merlin had left his magic book ‘out in the open’ and how it was extremely lucky no one had actually noticed what it was.

“Why do you think these visitors have something to do with what is happening?” Gaius asked after a pause, glancing at Gwen then back at Merlin.

The boy grimaced. “Well. I don’t know for certain,” he admitted, “But the day after they arrived, when I first blacked out, I swear I saw someone in a cloak run around the corner.” He continued, explaining how he’d noticed the exact same cloak in the laundry room, and his painful reaction when the boy had looked at him in the throne room today.

Gwen looked thoughtful. “I thought I saw something similar yesterday,” she muttered, frowning. Both the others looked at her, and she bit her lip. “I can’t be sure, but outside the laundry room yesterday, when I walked around the corner, I think I might’ve seen the flash of a cloak at the other end of the corridor. Like someone running off. Then I found you,” she explained, with a nod at Merlin.

He frowned. “But you haven’t seen anything else?”

She shook her head again, looking a little regretful, although it wasn’t her job to find out if visitors to the castle were suspicious. That was more Merlin’s job, not that anyone other than Gaius knew it.

“Should we do something?” Gwen asked after a moment of silence, and she got an eyebrow raise from Merlin, who looked vaguely amused that she initiated something less than proper. But before he could answer, Gaius spoke up.

“Not yet,” he said warningly. “Not that I don’t believe you,” he added when he caught Merlin’s almost betrayed look, “But it’s important to cover all bases before we go around accusing people.”

Begrudgingly, Merlin nodded, wincing just a little when the movement caused a headache to make itself known. “Ow,” he muttered grumpily, raising a hand to rub at the bridge of his nose, willing the pain to recede just a little.

Gaius frowned worriedly at him. “There are medical reasons for someone to consistently black out,” he continued, turning a little to address Gwen more, because she was looking a little put out about not investigating straight away when Merlin was clearly suffering.

“Such as?” Merlin grumbled, squeezing his eyes shut as his head continued complaining for no reason.

“Head trauma,” Gaius started.

“Not recently, and nothing too bad,” Merlin replied immediately.

“Illness or poison.”

“Can’t feel anything like that, if last time it happened is any indication.”

Gwen grimaced. That had been one of her worries the first time she had seen her friend on the floor. Merlin was always up and busy; seeing him still or sick was practically haunting, and it didn’t help that their main example of that was when he had been poisoned at the feast with Bayard.

“Allergies.”

At that, Merlin glanced up, brow still pinched in pain, but bemused. “What? I thought that’s just symptoms like sneezing.”

Gaius gave him a brief approving look, pleased that some of the medical lectures were occasionally taken in. “It usually is, but it can be exacerbated to worse symptoms.” He pursed his lips. “I haven’t ever heard of such a mild affliction causing blackouts though,” he admitted.

Merlin groaned quietly, and put his head back in his hands. Partly in pain, but also partly because this conversation wasn’t going anywhere and he knew Arthur would be looking for him soon.

Frown deepening in concern, Gaius pulled a hand away from Merlin’s face, ignoring his grumbling, and checked the boy’s eyes, then put the back of his fingers briefly against a cheek.

“You really don’t seem ill, not classically at least.”

“Because I’m not,” Merlin muttered, wrinkling his nose when Gaius kept hold of his wrist, considering his pulse.

After a moment, he let go with a sigh. “A little erratic, but I imagine you are slightly stressed.”

Merlin made a face but didn’t disagree. Being hit with an odd affliction that struck him down out of nowhere, leaving him defenceless – not to mention possibly being found out if he couldn’t keep his wits about him – was rather stressful. As was most of life in Camelot.

Before he could retort, there was the sound of footsteps approaching their corridor, and Gwen leapt to her feet in haste, turning to face the incomer and do damage control if needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> spoilers it's Arthur bc i can't be bothered to put anyone obscure in here since i can barely figure out when it's actually placed in the timeline.


	6. Chapter 6

Arthur narrowed his eyes at Gaius’ explanation of exhaustion after Gwen hesitantly admitted what exactly they were doing all crouched in a corridor, but let them go after giving Merlin the rest of the day off – not that the servant had really done anything yet, he was quick to point out, easily covering any concern he had.

Merlin had rolled his eyes but let the prince help him up before shrugging him off and insisting he could move himself. Gaius thanked Arthur and Gwen for their help and then escorted his ward down the hall towards their chambers.

He had flatly refused to go to bed, given he wasn’t actually ill and it was barely lunch time. Gaius’ raised eyebrow didn’t break the boy’s resolve, so after a short silent argument, the physician reluctantly relented; instead installing his stubborn charge in a chair at their usual meal table where he wasn’t to move from, with a cup of hot and slightly medicated tea for the headache.

“Narcolepsy,” Gaius suddenly said after an hour or so of companionable silence.

Merlin, about to take another sip from his mug (not that he was deliberately drinking it slowly or anything in grumpy retribution), glanced up to where his guardian was sitting at another table reading.

He frowned. “What’s that?”

“A fairly mild affliction,” Gaius replied, still skimming the book in front of him. “The patient falls into a sleep without meaning to, at any time, even standing up or doing something.” He turned the page. “It is a harmless condition itself, but injuries can occur from falls due to the nature of it.”

Merlin deepened his frown aimed across the room. “I’m not falling asleep,” he stated with a hint of frustration.

Gaius looked up at him in mild warning, and Merlin let his expression fall slightly, blowing out a breath. It wasn’t Gaius’ fault this was happening.

After a moment, Gaius sighed and put the book aside as Merlin stared glumly down at his cold tea at this point, not feeling like finishing it.

“You haven’t been eating much,” Gaius continued, musing more to himself, “But unfortunately that is fairly normal for you.”

Merlin scowled across the room again, but Gaius wasn’t paying attention; he got up slowly and hummed a little as he ran a finger across spines of books on a shelf, sighing when none of them apparently caught his interest. He repeated the action for another shelf before Merlin got impatient.

“It’s got something to do with the visitors,” he said firmly, “I know it has.”

Gaius turned to give him a look across the room. “We can’t know that, Merlin,” he said in a frustratingly placating voice. Merlin made a sound of annoyance and Gaius sighed again as he started to walk over. “You know we can’t go around accusing people. At least not until we have more information, and have ruled out other possibilities,” he continued calmly.

Decidedly not as calm, Merlin kept the scowl on his face even as his head ached and he had to reach up a hand to rub at it in an attempt to relieve some pain. It had been increasing while he was just sat, but he hadn’t said anything since it was also ridiculous.

He could practically hear Gaius’ frown in the silence, but determinedly did not look up.

“Other that what you think you’ve seen-“ Gaius held up a hand for quiet when Merlin was about to protest at the way that was worded “-What else is there?” He paused as Merlin slowly looked back down at the table, which at least wasn’t judging him.

He stubbornly didn’t reply. Although there wasn’t really anything to say; Gaius was, as usual, right.

“Have you felt anything… different, since the visitors have been here?”

There was a specific implication on ‘different’ that Merlin knew to mean ‘magical’ – even though they were currently alone, Gaius was nothing if not over-cautious, especially with strangers around.

Merlin shrugged. In honesty, he hadn’t felt anything odder than normal. And the normal was just a background of vague stuff, like nearby druids in the forest, and nature healing itself from cut trees, and the castle beneath their feet occasionally grumbling when construction was done.

He’d once admitted all these strange things he felt on a daily basis to Gaius, who was stunned at how much there was going on. He’d declared Merlin felt such feelings due to his power, and informed him that the sounds of the castle was sure to be related to the fact that some of the kingdom certainly was based on magic; nature and the druid calls were more self-explanatory. Magic came from nature itself, after all.

That in mind, Merlin sighed and decided he may as well see if there was something he’d missed between the usual backgrounds.

“Let me focus for a minute,” he muttered as he closed his eyes, though there was no need – Gaius was constantly fascinated by his magic, and the older has fallen silent as soon as he saw the warlock start to think. He stood and waited with infinite patience as Merlin frowned in concentration.

The normal chatter was there; castle, forest, and no random druids today. Merlin reached his magic further, feeling it like tendrils twisting out of his space and trying to search for something wrong, something that was not meant to be there. He carried on searching, forcing golden threads out to every edge of the city, striving to find something to explain this.

Nothing.

He opened his eyes, breathing hard, and became aware of a hand on his shoulder. He groaned as the headache pounded back from where he’d forced it away to concentrate, and let out a gasp as he cradled his head in one hand, knowing Gaius would be looking down at his with a concerned frown.

The hand tightened after a moment. “Merlin?”

He took a deep breath and forced himself to glance up, knowing he looked pale and exhausted but barely able to summon a weak smile that could serve as reassurance.

Sure enough, Gaius was watching him, worry deep in the lines of his expression. He lifted his hand off Merlin’s shoulder to put the back of his fingers to the boy’s forehead, mouth lining in contemplation.

“Alright, that’s enough,” He said firmly, and gestured for Merlin to stand, taking hold of his arm as he obediently did so. “To bed with you.”

Sagging a little in defeat, Merlin let himself be led to his room and pushed down on the bed with a worried sternness that said to stay there. He looked miserably at the ground until Gaius put a hand on his shoulder again.

“It’s alright, my boy,” Gaius said, his voice gentle with care. “We’ll figure it out.”

Merlin just nodded silently, and sighed, letting his shoulders drop as Gaius removed his hand. The physician stayed for a moment, carefully putting a hand on his forehead to check for fever again before stepping back.

The warlock blinked up at him miserably. “Get some sleep. I’ll wake you for dinner,” Gaius said quietly.

Tiredness creeping up on him, Merlin sighed again and rubbed his eyes, nodding. As he heard his guardian’s steps leave, pulling the door to but not closed, he let himself fall back on his bed, rolling over without bothering to pull the blanket out from underneath, and shut his eyes tight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> still dk what i'm really doing but more hurt/comfort with gaius and merlin is never a bad thing,, thank


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What right do you have to live while my mother is dying? You're just a servant!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ik it's been a while but good news i do actually have a plan for finishing this now i just had to get around to writing it..... which took a while. But as ever, playing The Witcher 3 gets boring and I write Merlin fic instead. Pretty sure I know more abt historic times like medieval than abt modern things, ha. Anyway also i was watching some episodes and I realised that literally. this plot is basically in 3.08 Eye of the Phoenix. so. I totally forgot abt that when i started this. But hey this is a different source or whatever and anyway it's fiction, do what you want lol  
> Also I literally found my old writing book from like 2015 and it has an entire (very good!) chapter of Teen Wolf fic i never continued, as well as a few Uncharted short stories (this is how ik it's from that year lol). I'll probly never do anything w either of those things bc i gotta be in The Mood for a specific universe and i'm centred on Merlin at the moment so.   
> anyway idk why this is so long, i'm actually writing it before writing the chapter and it's also midnight by the way so! enjoy hopefully! thanks for writing, future self.

Merlin didn’t actually intend to fall asleep, so it was a surprise when he woke up. More accurately, something had dragged him into wakefulness, and he couldn’t pinpoint what.

The window shutter wasn’t closed, so he could see the winter night sky darkening by the minute as evening came on, as was normal for winter evenings. Many people – Gwen and apparently Arthur included – didn’t like winter for the reason that the night drew in too quickly, and there was little daylight to get things done. Arthur liked to hunt, and while bright summer evenings, where darkness didn’t even begin to draw until almost close to midnight, were ideal for spending (ridiculous, in Merlin’s opinion) hours in the forest; winter nights were the opposite, with the day closing before dinner was served. Or even earlier during bad weather.

But early sunset beside, there was nothing about the room that was odd. It was as it had always been. Herbs hung in the corners; Merlin’s clothes patterned the floor and washing line; the darkening night had placed shadows in the corners.

Nothing was out of place. Nothing was amiss. So why did Merlin feel so… strange?

He tried to take a deep breath to calm himself down and quickly realised he couldn’t. He could still breathe normally, just about, but the arm that tried to jerk up in panic didn’t move. He tried again to push his body up to sitting, but nothing.

Fear prickled at his skin and, after failing in the ability to move his legs either, opened his mouth to call out, or something to catch someone’s attention.

Then a shadow detached itself from the wall. “Don’t make a sound.”

Merlin froze on instinct. He could barely turn his head, forcing his neck to cooperate in order to face the direction the sound had come from. A figure walked slowly closer, but in the dim moonlight it was difficult to identify it.

It was small, and seemed weaponless – not that that was particularly reassuring in Merlin’s current state – or at least not immediately holding a sword above his prone body.

The warlock swallowed panic and grit his teeth instead, squinting as the silhouette finally drew close enough to the bed so a single guttering candle on Merlin’s bedside could weakly illuminate his face.

Instead of immediately realising who it was, though, Merlin’s mind supplied him with the knowledge that the previously absent candle must have been brought in by Gaius while he was asleep, as it got darker, so he would not wake up in pitch black from a nap he hadn’t meant to have.

This thought occurred at the same time as a small clatter sounded from the other room, informing Merlin that his guardian – or at least someone – was present.

But that was behind a mostly-closed wooden door, and with no sound from his room, no one was going to investigate. Merlin turned his attention back to the intruder, trying and failing again to take a deep breath in order to steel himself, pushing down flaring panic at the continued inability to do so.

The boy stood above him, eyes dark and fierce, a savage grimace painting his face.

He looked… deranged, almost. Nothing like his façade in the castle halls, or the throne room, or indeed the night he had arrived.

Merlin’s jaw began to ache from gritting his teeth so hard. He tried to relax it and took shallow breaths to try and calm himself, but it did little to help. He seemed to be pinned to the bed somehow, so tightly that his chest wasn’t allowed to expand to its fullest. A blanket caught the corner of his eye, pooled on the floor. It wasn’t his; Gaius must have placed it over him at some point.

Again, the thought that there could be help in the main room registered in Merlin’s mind. But again, he had no idea of this boy’s power, so it was better off just being them for now.

The boy leaned forward until he was leering above Merlin. His face was in the dark again.

“What right do you have to live while my mother is dying?” The boy hissed suddenly, such venom in his tone. “You’re just a servant.”

At once, Merlin wanted to sympathise. His own mother was indescribably precious to him, and after all, he was indeed just a servant. That was the sort of mindset that that nobles had drilled into him from day one in employee. It was underlined by constant reminders such as being forced to drink poison on the crown prince’s behalf. And other situations that mostly Uther had initiated. But other nobles had the same idea.

Well, if they were talking anyway, Merlin was going to defend himself best he could. “What are you talking about?” He whispered slightly hoarsely, keeping his voice as low pitched as possible.

The boy bared his teeth, like a cat about to strike, and Merlin forced himself not to flinch. Not that he could move much.

After a moment, though, the boy drew back again, still looking thunderous, as though asking what the hell he was doing was some kind of insult to his family. Which, considering his previous statement, was somewhat true.

But he didn’t reply. Instead, he took a deep breath, since he wasn’t tied to a bed with some sort of invisible restraint, and held his hands clasped high above his head, closing his eyes.

Merlin still had no idea what was going on but automatically his body braced itself for an attack best it could as he eyed the boy’s actions warily. He let his magic out a tiny bit, just to get a feel for the situation. Golden tendrils snaked through his limbs, testing the restrictions, and agreed it was some sort of magic. The boy himself still didn’t register as fantical though.

“I, Mordecai, remind you of our deal, shidhe,” he said out loud, quiet but with power behind his words. Merlin stiffened at mention of powerful beings. “You agreed to a life-force being offered in return for removing the curse from my mother. I will now complete the ritual and hold my end of the bargain. In return, you will relinquish the curse’s hold on Georgina, my mother, so she will not die in the four days left of the week the sorcerer gave her.”

This was the longest, and frankly most confusing, bit of information yet. Merlin stared as the boy raised his head and started to chant, something lighting between his hands. The force keeping Merlin against the bed tightened steadily, feeling like invisible tendrils constricting him now.

He struggled as much as possible as it got impossibly tight until he was wheezing for breath and doing his very best not to panic even more.

“Stop,” he managed to choke out desperately, but the boy, Mordecai, did not listen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i actually looked up medieval names bc something like 'john' wasn't going to fly,, and for some reason Mordecai caught my eye. What a rad name! also bc i find it so difficult to write scenes with characters of the same pronouns especially when there aren't names bc i just have to keep going 'he' and who knows who i'm talking abt from one to the other. so as much as 'the boy' is mysterious, a name was needed. also i call Merlin boy bc he is just a smol child and i just,, always hurt him though but that's fine bc he also has lots of carers.


	8. Chapter 8

Mordecai, the strange boy, continued his chanting in the dark of the room, but he started to seem frustrated about something – glancing from the ball of steadily growing light in his hands above his head and then back at Merlin as though it was his fault, despite the fact he was tied to the bed with some odd magical force.

Quite possibly, Merlin’s magic was doing at least something in return. The light was quivering as though it was a struggle to exist, and Mordecai growled as he realised this was not as easy as it was perhaps advertised.

Then, shallow light flooded the room as the door opened gently, and while Mordecai’s gaze snapped to the figure in the doorway, Merlin took the opportunity to try and struggle against the invisible bonds. Urgency increased as the ability to breathe decreased when it seemed fighting just made his chest tighten.

“What are you doing to him?”

The voice was anger, and concern, and fear, and Merlin immediately felt safer, despite the restrictions. Gaius took a threatening step into the room, worried eyes glancing over Merlin on the bed before hardening at the sight of the boy standing over it with the ball of light. “Stop this,” he demanded, and there was a flash of the strong sorcerer the old physician used to be in his eyes.

Mordecai hesitated, clearly at odds at what to do with a witness to his deed, and his focus slipped as a result, allowing Merlin to take the first proper breath he’d had for minutes as the invisible barriers around his eased just slightly.

“They’re lying to you,” Merlin manage to gasp out, and Mordecai turned to him again, the beginning of doubt creeping into his expression. 

“How… how do you know?” He asked, unsure. There was a glimpse of vulnerability in his face and Merlin felt a brief flare of sympathy – he was just a boy trying to save his mother. Heaven knew Merlin had tried to do the same, but it was his own life he had tried to give.

He took another breath, trying to calm his racing heart that was trying to remind him he was still trapped, and replied through gritted teeth, “The shidhe don’t make deals without consequences.”

The boy still looked divided, clearly at a loss at what to believe now. Gaius, who had taken a few steps into the room in case help was needed, glanced at Merlin in worry before following his ward’s lead.

“If you have made a deal with the shidhe, there will be hidden repercussions,” Gaius agreed warningly. Mordecai faltered, eyes flickering between the two.

“Like what?” 

Merlin swallowed, and tried to move his limbs, but the restraint was still too tight. “Let me go and we can help you,” he pleaded lowly, clearly giving the implication that if anything else happened to him, Gaius himself would absolutely not help.

Mordecai was frowning now, hands still above his head but trembling slightly as the ball of light hovered serenely, waiting for a decision.

Slowly, he lowered his arms, eyeing the light. “Swear you will help,” he said quietly, not taking his eyes off the lifeforce. 

Gaius took another step forward so he was almost opposite the boy on the other side of the bed, clearly untrusting, but Merlin nodded best he could, hoping to convey honesty as he answered, “I will.”

After a moment where it felt like the tendrils tightened again, the boy gave a short nod in response, and the ball suddenly vanished as he took a step back, looking to hide in the shadows after being unsure of exactly what he’d almost done.

Merlin immediately tried to roll away and almost fell off the bed, coughing and panting as he tried to get his breath back. Gaius caught him with hands on his shoulders, and quickly steadied him, worriedly kneeling to check his eyes while giving him a visual once over.

“Are you alright?” He asked urgently, and Merlin nodded, rubbing his chest with one hand as he calmed his harsh breathing. Gaius didn’t look convinced, but eased him back to sit on the edge of the bed with a hand still on his shoulder, straightening up himself to eye the boy by the wall with what Merlin was sure would be quite the glare.

Merlin let himself just sit there for a moment until his heartrate slowed, convincing himself he wasn’t in danger at the moment. 

Unfortunately, with constant attacks, it was difficult to feel safe, not to mention generally living in a place that would kill him in a second.

But, he had given himself a duty to help those he could – even if it was a personal penance for those he couldn’t, like the accused that burned outside in the courtyard, Merlin unable to control the whims of the king’s reign against sorcery.

So, taking a deep breath, he twisted around to look at the boy. “Right. Let’s find something.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little shorter than usual, but hopefully will finish it soon, since I'm taking a break from life rn, so trying to finish things up.


	9. Chapter 9

Merlin stood and gestured for Mordecai to follow as he descended the few stairs to the main chamber.

“Why don’t you go and get your mother,” he suggested, glancing briefly at the boy before returning his calculating gaze to the books littered around the room. In honesty, he had no idea where to start looking. The shidhe were tricky beings, as many faeries were, and his run-ins with them had all resulted in little more than killing someone or other to break the deals they held.

With another guilty look at Gaius – who was clearly much more offended about the attempt on his ward’s life than Merlin himself was – Mordecai slipped out of the room. Merlin immediately turned to his guardian.

“Is there actually any other way?” 

Gaius sighed and brought his stare away from the door after watching the boy leave distrustfully. He eyed Merlin for a moment before walking over and considering a shelf of books, talking as he browsed. “A curse can be undone by magic, if it’s stronger than the sorcerer who cast it,” he began, selecting a book and opening it to a page in his hands, “But shidhe deals can be difficult to break without unforeseen consequences.”

Merlin grimaced. That’s what he had thought, and had been told previously. “Right.” He winced when a light headache that presented itself began to increase in pain, but tried to ignore it. He looked over Gaius’ shoulder at the old book, which held a page on blue faeries.

They looked through the following pages, each containing a sentence or two about the subject matter, but none offered any kind of solution.

After a moment, Gaius glanced at Merlin with a frown. “Are you sure we should be helping them?” He asked quietly, clearly at odds with dwelling back into magic for what was not much, or no longer, a threat to them specifically. 

Merlin took the book from his guardian slowly, looking over words they had already dismissed. “Yes,” he replied firmly, and glanced up, eyes hard, to convey his seriousness.

They stared at each other for a minute, the young and the old, each with their own ways but joined together out of will and love. Gaius pursed his lips and put a hand on Merlin’s shoulder looking at him pointedly.

“You can’t make it your business to help everyone,” he said quietly, with the air of someone who knew such a statement was futile. 

As expected, Merlin’s gaze wavered, and he looked back down at the book, tensing his jaw. “I know,” he said eventually. 

But before the conversation could continue, the door opened and the boy walked back in, looking a little scolded, the woman Merlin had seen in the throne room days ago following him with a frown. More surprising was Gwen entering after the other two, her expression vaguely harassed.

Gaius dropped his hand from Merlin and took a step forward in surprise. “Gwen,” he greeted, hiding his worry at her presence for a magical discussion.

She gave a quick smile as she hurried over, addressing them as Merlin put the book down onto a table to listen. 

“I saw him in the hallways, like you said, and followed, and when he came back with the woman aswell, I thought something was happening,” she explained, looking nervously over her shoulder at the people in question. “And then even more so when we ended up here.”

Merlin grimaced, meeting Gaius’ worried glance. Gwen clearly wanted to help, but how involved she should be when there was illegal powers at play, neither was sure.

“Gwen—” Merlin began hesitantly, not wanting to distance his friend but aware of the dangers.

She turned back, suddenly fierce. “Don’t you dare send me away,” she whispered with unusual ferocity, even glaring a bit. “There’s something wrong with you and I want to see it through, so you’d better have a plan.”

Then, realising how harsh that might have sounded, backtracked a little in typical fashion. “I—I mean, I just…” She bit her lip, eyeing Merlin worriedly, “It’s just, a bit unnerving, to see you collapsed all over the place,” she admitted.

Merlin frowned. “It wasn’t all over the place,” he muttered, defensive as ever over something he hadn’t even had control over, but Gaius interrupted, unwilling but understanding.

“Of course, Gwen, but I must warn you that whatever happens, this cannot get back to the king or the prince,” he said gravely. Gwen nodded, all seriousness.

“I understand,” she replied in quiet, and glanced back again. “So, what happened? What are you doing?”

There was a pause, and Gwen looked back at the two questioningly. 

Merlin addressed the lady, “Could you tell us exactly what happened the day you…” he gestured vaguely, instinctively not wanting to mention magic in front of people.

The lady drew herself up and, after a glance at her son who nodded in reassurance, spoke with dignity. “We were in the woods, and came across a man who asked for help. We are far from home, and had little to offer, so I had to refuse. As a result, he grew angry, and spoke strange words before promising I would not live longer than seven more days.” She swallowed, lowering her head a little in fear. “He then left. Disappeared, even.”

Her son looked helpless to his mother before addressing the trio as well, continuing the story. 

“We saw the castle and asked for shelter,” he explained, “And on the first night of safety, I went back into the woods, searching for the man, but he wasn’t to be found. Then I came across a pool and these… blue… beings, with wings, appeared. They introduced themselves and said they could help. I had to take a life force from someone, and they would see that my mother wouldn’t die.”

Gaius, whose frown deepen on hearing the actual reasoning, spoke up sharply, “That was foolish. It’s clear you were desperate, but do you know nothing of blind trust, especially with faeries?”

Merlin bit back a smile despite the situation. It was a little fun to hear that stern tone on someone other than himself.

The boy looked properly scolded, also to Merlin’s amusement, and looked away as he finished, “You were the first person I really saw, so.” He shrugged helplessly. “I told them and they started to, um. Take your life force, I suppose.”

Gwen touched Merlin’s shoulder. “That’s what was happening,” she said in a hushed tone, looking afraid. Merlin tried to give her a reassuring smile, but the headache he’d been ignoring was pounding its way to his attention, and he lifted a hand with some dizziness to rub at his forehead, closing his eyes at the reminder of weakness.

Immediately, Gaius noted his slight sway. “How are you feeling now? Is it still happening?” He demanded in worry.

Merlin took a breath and nodded, the want to stop people worrying failing over the need for honesty in this particular situation. He grimaced and dropped his hand, blinking back blackness.

“I’ve been better,” he said with weak humour, realising Gaius had moved to his side, expression lined with concern.

“I think, maybe, what’s done before is done,” the boy spoke up with hesitance.

Gaius didn’t bother to glare at him again, instead immediately reaching for a chair and pushing Merlin down onto it by the shoulders when his legs felt like they were threatening to give out on him. 

“Sit before you fall again,” he fussed, then put a hand under Merlin’s chin to tilt his head up slightly, examining his eyes that were glazed over in pain, dazing him.

With a worried grimace, Gaius patted his ward’s shoulder briefly before turning to take up a blanket from the bed nearby, draping it over Merlin’s shoulders and putting a hand to his forehead to check for fever.

Mordecai watched this with increasing guilt, not having previously seen the effect Merlin’s predicament had on his companions.

He was confused, too, as Gaius dropped his hand when Merlin tried weakly batting it away, and adjusted the blanket while insisting quietly that he speak up if the symptoms got worse.

“Why are you helping us?” Mordecai finally burst out.

Merlin didn’t meet his eyes and only shrugged in reply. Gaius put a hand on his ward’s shoulder and levelled a fond scold at him. “Because he’s much too good,” the old man said with an equally fond weariness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's meant to be more but this is longer than the others and it's a good place to end. Turns out writing a plan for a story makes it easier to actually write


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If I'm to choose between and greater and lesser evil, I'd rather not choose at all. But often, the stakes are just too damn high.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Geralt, The Witcher 3

"Have you found anything?" Gwen spoke up, voice full of worry, and Merlin smiled to himself despite the pain. Bless that girl.

Gaius left Merlin's side to walk back over to the table where the book had been put down, looking it over with a sigh. "Unfortunately nothing that we didn't already know," he said grimly, and glanced at the boy and his mother standing with awkwardness in the middle of the room. "One of the ways to reverse a spell is..." he trailed off, glancing at Merlin before addressing the room again. "Killing the sorcerer who cast it often stops any magic at work," he explained with a heaviness that came with death.

The boy flinched; the talk of murder making reminding him how he had chosen to act immediately. 

"Is that the only way?" His mother asked, her usually grave tone fitting the conversation. Mordecai saw Merlin nod out of the corner of his eye, the servant wincing against a headache but still present enough to engage with the situation.

"The only certain way that has been discovered," Gaius answered heavily.

There was a silence in the room as each occupant considered another death. Was it worth it? What were the consequences of doing so - or simply not doing so. Who could rule what life was worth more than another?

Unfortunately as ever, there was no being to say what was and what wasn't right. It was again up to individuals with each their own thoughts, and relationships, and agendas, to decide what to do and how to act. The solution to such a conundrum could cause unrest and arguing at the least; death and destruction at most. Neither was ideal. 

Merlin had made it his business to help magic users whenever he could. But he also had a duty to the innocent and victimised. There was no right answer when it came to choosing between an apparent greater or lesser evil. Kilgharrah often riddled as such. Like helping or watching Morgana, or learning how and when was best to use magic in front of the prince so the opportunity to reveal was there, but should not be picked up on.

It was sometimes lonely, and often difficult. And sometimes the choice was out of his hands before he could come up with a sensible solution.

And, for better or worse, this was one of those times.

Since, as Merlin opened his mouth to suggest something, maybe more research or looking around with the only insight they had, the door to the physician chambers creaked open without a cursory knock, every eye turning to the entrance as the intruder starting talking even before he was dully in the room.

"And we found a sorcerer of some sort while on patrol, but he wasn't willing to come quietly, or really at all, so it ended up in a small fight and he's dead, which is probably better than being dragged back here in front of my father anyway, though don't tell anyone I said that--"

Arthur cut himself off as he finally looked up and saw not only Gaius and his manservant in the room - pale and sitting on chair with a blanket, which was mildly concerning - but also Gwen, and oddly, two other people who Arthur thought were the guests Uther had allowed to stay in the castle.

He blinked, settling his gaze on Gaius, who looked the most harassed. "Um. What?"

But before Gaius could find an explanation, or Gwen could talk since she looked like she was about to speak up in order to help with whatever was going on, the boy in the cloak suddenly asked, "What did he look like?"

The prince stared at him. What was this child doing here again?

"Who?" He instead replied, considering it was unfitting to unnecessarily question a guest.

"The sorcerer."

Arthur frowned in confusion. He had walked in talking about a sorcerer, yes, but what did this boy know of it. "A man wearing mostly black," he said slowly, cautious of what exactly was going on here. It was often his manservant was involved with odd things, but this was a strange situation - actually, scratch that, Merlin was always in the damn middle of strange situations.

So Arthur ignored the boy and the lady looking at each other in daring hope, and held up a hand when Gaius or Gwen again looked like they could try and explain, which would probably be a bunch of half-truths, if not flat-out lies. Arthur was used to it, frankly. Who would be honest with the crown prince, after all.

"I don't really want to know," he said plainly, eyeing the room severely. Gwen had a slightly guilty look on her face, but she also looked quietly pleased about something. Gaius, the most practised of them, had carefully arranged his expression to be politely blank. Merlin continued to seem like he was battling a fierce headache. And, looking around the room, Arthur felt like he didn't want to interact with any of them right now. Meeting strange sorcerers in the woods and consequently them dying by knights' swords was odd enough for the day.

He shook his head slightly again, trying to refocus his attention on what actually mattered. "Guinevere," Arthur started, but decided to leave her be when she bit her lip in worry. He waved a hand. "Never mind." Instead, his gaze fell on Merlin, whose appearance continued to do little to calm his nerves. "Merlin," he tried to start again, but the boy squinted at him and Arthur relented. "I expect you back at work tomorrow, looking less dead," he settled on, and Merlin grinned weakly.

"Certainly, sire," he replied with usual insolence. "Will I be required to turn up if I do die?"

Arthur narrowed his eyes. Other than the insubordinance, he found he wasn't too fond of Merlin talking about dying. "Stop making a fuss," he said with an air of pompousness. "You'll be over this fainting fit in no time."

Merlin half-rolled his eyes, never doubting Arthur's ability to turn concern into scolding.

Hesitating briefly by the door, Arthur felt like he was missing something. More correctly, he felt like he should do something. There was clearly an underfoot event unfolding here and while he was beginning to get used to the shenanigans his manservant got up to, it didn't mean he didn't fear the treasonous things a group such as this might be doing, despite trusting the three he knew. But the other two were unknown, so he turned back to the room again.

Everyone watched him warily. He opened his mouth to say something, but couldn't think of what would be right. Gwen had widened her eyes, giving an innocent look. Arthur pursed his lips then addressed Gaius, who at least was the most sensible of them all. Presumably. 

"Sort out whatever this is and get back to normal," he ended up practically ordering, because there was only so much oddness he could deal with on a daily basis. 

Merlin looked amused while Gaius was taken aback. Still, he politely inclined his head. "Of course, my lord," he intoned, keeping his expression carefully blank again even as Merlin hid a huff of mild laughter and Gwen watched Arthur nervously.

Arthur paused a moment more, then just shook his head and left the room, pulling the door closed. He just did not want to know.

* * *

Once the prince had left, it seemed everyone let out a collectively breath of relief.

The boy wasted no time in turning back to Merlin, hand clasped tightly in his mother's, the hopeful look on both their faces clear. "Is that it? Is she free?" He asked quickly, glancing to his mother in hope before looking back to Merlin and then Gaius, gaze beseeching.

Merlin let out a sigh before pulling up a smile, but it was sad. Even though the choice wasn't his, it was still another life lost. 

"Yes," he answered simply, glancing at Gaius for confirmation.

He nodded in reply to his ward's look, and addressed the guests. "The spell should be broken. Little magic can last outside the caster's death," he informed them. The boy twitched a smile but quickly turned serious again as Gaius continued, "the deal with the shidhe on the other hand..."

Mordecai looked nervously to Merlin, who was clearly still under the effect of the faeries' power, and felt guilt mix with the joy of having his mother back. There was no need for more death, but could the deal be reversed?

Gwen put a hand on Merlin's shoulder in worry. "What about the shidhe?" She asked, causing Merlin to blink up at her in surprise. The girl caught on quick.

"What can be done?" Mordecai spoke up, aware this was his doing. The physician immediately gave him a stern look that reminded him it was indeed his fault. Mordecai grimaced in apology, taking half a step back, as though physically distancing him from the consequences of his action would help.

Merlin sighed again, and pulled the blanket off as he struggled to stand up, Gaius quickly turning to him in indignation. The boy waved his guardian off in a weary movement.

"I'll deal with the shidhe," he said, with an edge of tiredness, as though breaking deals with blue faeries was a regular practice. Which it technically wasn't, not really, it just seemed to come up quite often. And usually led to having to kill one of the blasted things with a hidden magic staff that only he (and Gaius) knew about. Thus making it his responsibility to deal with them again.

But one step forward and he trembled, weakness travelling up his legs and into his body, a feeling even his magic couldn't fight. Blackness creeped into his vision and he grit his teeth, knowing it was a losing battle to keep standing, but instinctively trying anyway. But it was a lost cause, and he heard Gaius step forward in concern behind him as his guardian clearly noticed the pause. Merlin looked down and dragged in another futile steadying breath.

"Just... Just, give me a minute," he managed, and through pure stubbornness tried to step back, planning to sink back into the chair, but the darkness got bored of waiting and swallowed him whole.

Gwen darted forward as her friend collapsed, half-catching him but sinking to the floor under his weight. She arranged Merlin so his head was on her lap, brushing hair from his too-warm forehead and looking up worried as Gaius knelt beside them with a grim expression, concern clear in his eyes.

He took Merlin's wrist in hand, frown deepening at clammy and cool skin, as the boy behind them took a half step forward.

"The spell's still active," he said hesitantly.

"Yes," Gaius said tightly, not looking away as he grabbed the blanket Merlin had shaken off before, placing it over his ward on the floor as Merlin trembled, but there was no movement behind his eyes, telling of deep unconsciousness that wouldn't be easy to break.

Mordecai hesitated as Gaius put a hand to Merlin's forehead, pursing his lips. "What can I do?"

Finally, the physician looked up. Though he was clearly in control and inherently professional, there was personal worry shining in his eyes, deep concern for his boy who just kept getting into trouble trying to save others. Gaius regarding Mordecai, who stood there, as if waiting for judgement, then glanced back to Merlin. Perhaps it was paranoia, but his breathing seemed to already be getting shallower, and his pulse had been weaker than ideal.

"You need to break your deal with the shidhe," he said, not taking his eyes off Merlin's unnerving stillness. Behind him, Mordecai nodded in determination. "But be warned, there may still be consequences."

The boy nodded again, and glanced to his mother in reassurance before eyeing Gwen gently stroking Merlin's hair in tender worry. He had made a mistake and it was up to him to ensure no one else paid for it. So he stepped forward firmly and took the other boy's words as his own. "I'll deal with the shidhe."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Looks like there's going to be one more chapter, just a little epilogue.   
> Can't believe I finally actually made a story out of this and did it tbh !!


	11. Epilogue

Merlin woke up very suddenly. It was akin to someone having switched something in his brain that made him immediately open his eyes, apparently startling Gwen who was watching him intently from a stool beside the bed he seemed to be on.

"Oh!" Gwen blinked at him before turning to call, "Gaius, he's awake!" She looked back at Merlin, who was beginning to look dazed from such a sudden arrival back to consciousness. She frowned worriedly. "I think..." She muttered as Gaius hurried over.

Gwen stood up as the physician drew near and he took her seat with a nod of thanks, looking Merlin over with a critical eye.

"Merlin? How do you feel?" Gaius practically demanded as he took Merlin's wrist in hand. The boy in question was still trying to come to terms with that very query himself - such an abrupt wakening left him feeling odd and detached. But, upon being asked, he tried to focus and take stock of himself.

It couldn't have been too long since he blacked out, as the setting sun outside was still lighting the room with weak winter light, helped by a few already lit candles in preparation for darkness. The guests were gone, and no one other than Gaius or Gwen were present in the room, so true to his word, Arthur had left them alone to deal with whatever was happening, as he'd said. Merlin gazed at the ceiling as he continued to gather his thoughts. Confirming that he was safe and lying on a bed in the main chamber, he turned his attention to himself.

In actual fact, now he was aware, Merlin realised he felt better than he had in days. Even before the guests' arrival, he'd been feeling a bit run down thanks for Arthur's continued chores due to winter, but though the rest he'd got hadn't been enough while being life-drained, now without that burden he felt better than before.

He realised Gaius was watching him with worry after dropped his hand, and struggled up to smile at his guardian in reassurance. 

"I feel... good," he admitted in relief.

Gaius frowned, unconvinced. "Are you sure?" He pressed. Merlin nodded with confidence. For once, he was telling the absolutely truth, and made sure to keep his mentor's gaze with seriousness until Gaius was satisfied with the admission.

Standing nervously behind Gaius, Gwen leaned forward with a hesitant smile. "He must have done it then, right?" She addressed Gaius.

The physician eyed Merlin slowly, wanting to be absolutely sure there were no ill effects from the spell. While the boy did seem perfectly healthy again, he had a knack for seeming that way even when not, so Gaius felt he was obliged to double check, as both guardian and physician.

Eventually, he leaned back and glanced to Gwen with a relieved expression. "It seems so," he agreed, eyeing Merlin again, who sat up properly to prove that he was indeed alright, and also pay attention to the conversation 

Gwen smiled in relief and suddenly reached out to pull Merlin into a quick hug, drawing back before he could blink, the usual backtracking expression on her face more reassuring than the gesture.

"Sorry," she apologised hastily, giving a nervous glance to Gaius, who gave her a reassuring smile, to assure that both her actions were alright, wouldn't harm Merlin, and that the boy was now fine and there was no need for worry - at this moment, at any rate. Though given his penchant for getting in or simply finding trouble, it wouldn't be long before the next threat surfaced, and Merlin would once again involve himself, heedless of danger.

So Gaius patted Merlin's shoulder after Gwen's hug and the boy gave him a sheepish smile, no doubt knowing the scolding that might follow now things had worked out.

But, with his ward safe and sound again after yet another battle that wasn't his, Gaius found he couldn't fault the boy for meddling. Not to mention that he hadn't had too much say in this one either. Now it was over, it was almost ironic that Merlin had been the victim through sheer chance this time.

"I feel sort of bad that we didn't do anything earlier," Gwen admitted after a pause, and the other two immediately looked at her, not used to having a third member equally willing to take blame after an event.

"It's not your fault, Gwen," Merlin said automatically, just as his did with anyone.

Gaius sighed. "It's no one's fault, including yours, Merlin," he said sternly, eyeing both young adults so neither would try to take the blame. "We couldn't have known the exact cause beforehand, suspicious guests or not. And while it is... unfortunate that another death was needed to sort it out, that doesn't lie on any of our heads either."

Merlin pursed his lips but nodded, eyes a little sad at the reminder of a life lost, no matter what the sorcerer had done or who he was. It still felt like losing.

Nevertheless, they had got through another problem, and their little group was no worse for wear, so that was something. Merlin took a deep breath and let himself calm. They were safe.

* * *

After being fussed over by Gwen for a bit, and questioned by Gaius to ensure he really was fully hale and healthy once again, Merlin was ordered up to his room to rest for the evening. Gaius had promised that if he still felt fine in the morning, he could attend to Arthur as usual.

So Merlin found himself walking the normal path to the kitchen at the normal time in the morning, feeling lighter than he had in days. He picked up Arthur's breakfast and avoided the cooks with a dexterity that was odd for his usual clumsy ways, causing a couple of the kitchen staff to stare, before grinning and heading out the room, dodging a noble in the corridor outside, which got him a scowl rather than the stunned expressions from the kitchen.

He hurried to the prince's chambers despite the early start, knowing Arthur wouldn't hesitate to throw something once he found his servant back to full health.

Knocking cheerfully, Merlin entered without waiting for an answer, and clattered the tray on the table before moving to the window and throwing open the curtains with an unnecessary flourish, predictably causing a groan to rise from the bed.

"Morning, sire!"

The only answer was another annoyed groan, although it almost sounded like a whine. Merlin rolled his eyes good-naturedly and went over to the bed, yanking the covers off without so much as a warning. Immediately the prince struggled up in indignation, turning to glare at the person that dared take the bedcovers off of the crown prince.

"How dare y-- Merlin?" The seething was cut off by surprise as Arthur blinked at his manservant, obviously taken aback.

Merlin grinned. "It's only been a day, Arthur, don't tell me you've forgotten my name already," he commented lightly, already turning his back and wandering over to the wardrobe to find some prince-appropriate clothes for wearing during the day, ignoring the bemused gaze on his back.

Arthur straightened up, watching Merlin warily, but the man seemed perfectly fine again. Not to say that Arthur couldn't sleep last night from seeing his manservant looked half-dead, of course, but it was nice to not have to think about breaking in a new person. Not that Arthur had been concerned at all when he had come across Gaius and Gwen with Merlin in the hallway yesterday, or how much worse the man had looked that evening when he'd popped in to Gaius' chambers to perhaps check in, but just. It was good to know that there was no need for any action.

So Arthur stood up and gave Merlin a nod when the servant turned around, raising an eyebrow at the unusually serious gesture.

"Yes...?" 

"Nothing." Arthur quickly stepped over to grab the shirt Merlin was holding without further comment, ignoring the bemused look he got in return. "Just making sure you're over your little fainting fit," he bolstered, continuing over to the changing screen as Merlin rolled his eyes, but he knew this was the prince's way of expression concern.

Merlin made the bed in a companionable silence as Arthur dressed. The ease of usual duties calmed both of them from the odd few days, and felt appropriately normal.

As Arthur emerged back into the room and headed to the table to begin breakfast, there was a light knock at the door.

"Enter."

Sir Leon stepped through the threshold with a polite nod, addressing Arthur. "Sire, your father has asked if you have any knowledge of the guests' disappearance," he informed the prince. Merlin made sure his head was down, not that anyone was paying attention to him, so as not to give anything away.

Arthur was frowning at the news. "I haven't heard anything of the sort," he said slowly, considering when he had even interacted with the strange people Uther had offered shelter to. Then he remembered when he had seen them, and glanced at Merlin before turning back to Leon with authority, giving the knight a nod to show the message had been given. "Dismissed," he said shortly, and Leon gave a brief bow before leaving, shutting the door behind him.

Merlin looked up innocently when the door latched, meeting Arthur's narrowed eyes with a passable blank expression.

"Were those not the guests in Gaius' chambers last night?" Arthur asked, tapping his fingers on the table beside him as he waited for the answer, clear suspicion in his pose. Merlin shrugged and turned down the sheets of the bed a little.

"Maybe," he allowed, patting the bedcovers. "You said you didn't want to know."

There was a silent stand off for a moment, them Arthur sighed, seemingly deciding it was too early in the morning to deal with his manservant's odd goings-on. "And I still don't," he muttered, sitting down heavily in front of his breakfast as Merlin smiled to himself, walking over.

"I'm sure they're fine," he said cheerfully. Arthur squinted up at him, unimpressed.

And decided, in the end, it wasn't even worth it. So he speared a sausage on a fork and resolutely ignored his servant's grateful smile at the illusion of privacy, instead choosing to grumble about his father probably wanting to know where the guests were, and if they were involved in sorcery, or if their disappearances were related to magic, and so on.

"He'll have me and the knights sent out to browse the forest, as if we can check the whole place - and I'm pretty sure that man yesterday was just chance, he was just too cocky, and it's not like we're likely to come across anyone else, we make enough noise as it is. Even more so than you sometimes, actually, and that's quite the feat, since you seem incapable of hunting without making a racket, which is the opposite of what you're meant to do. Honestly Merlin, I don't think you've ever been quiet a day in your life--"

Merlin let the complaining wash over him, smiling softly as he tidied the room. It just felt right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i CANNOT end things,,  
> But at least I finally finished this! Good for me. Didn't know what it was doing or where it was going, but I hate unfinished things more, so!
> 
> Let me know if it's any good, ha

**Author's Note:**

> how do I manage to write like a thousand words and then lose steam and have no idea what i'm doing


End file.
